A Mad Dash to California

Preface: I realize that this is pretty lengthy but this blog is the closest thing I have to a journal so I always want to make sure that I record all of the details so that I can have them and be able to remember down the road.

I made a VERY unexpected trip to California this past weekend. My grandma was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer about 6 weeks ago and since then she has been living with my mom and dad. My mom and Aunt have have been taking care of her and attending to her every need. For a while my Grandma was doing really well. She was up and moving around, she was happy and spry and looked healthy as a horse. Every one of her grand kids was able to make the trip to my mom's house and spend some time with her, every one except me. With a new baby and all that comes with that I wasn't able to make it out to visit. Well a little over a week ago I was talking to my mom and she said that my grandma had started to decline and that she felt like I needed to come out and see my grandma and let her see Chelsea. So we started making plans for me to come out in two weekends. Well on Thursday I got a call from my mom saying that things with my grandma had gotten even worse and that she thought I should come out the following weekend rather than waiting 2 weeks. An hour later I got another phone call from my mom, this time she was crying. She said that my grandmother had been moved to the hospice facility and that she was dying. They didn't expect her to make it through the weekend. My mom said that my grandma wanted so bad to see her great grand baby before she went and that if I could, I should try get on a plane that night. It was kind of crazy because I had a Mary Kay party planned for that evening and weekend plans consisting of pumpkin carving, a Halloween party at Brad's work and a ward trunk or treat. After my mom's phone call all of those things flew out the window. The only flight I could get for that night left in 3 hours from the time I got the call from my mom so I thought about catching the earliest flight the next morning but something told me if I did that I would be too late. So Brad rushed home from work, booked me a plane ticket, I was all packed up and had Chelsea ready to go and we were on our way to the airport all within an hour and a half. I wasn't even able to shower before I left. I flew into the Long Beach airport and Charity and her boyfriend picked me up. It was a very long drive to the hospice facility in Palm Desert where my grandma was at. We got stuck in LA traffic and my mom and dad kept calling us every half hour asking "where are you guys? What's your ETA?" We knew that my grandma was fading fast. We FINALLY made it and I walked into the room with Chelsea. It was awful to see my once very vibrant and lively grandmother so still and pale on the bed. I immediately lost it and started crying. In all of the rush to make it on time I really hadn't taken time to let the seriousness of my grandma's condition sink in but it all hit me when I saw her lying there. Everyone in the room (my mom, dad, Aunt, and 2 sisters) were all so happy to see Chelsea and I and SO relieved that we made it on time. My mom took Chelsea and set her on the bed next to my Grandma and through some tears said "Mom, Mom, Chelsea is here...Melissa and Chelsea came to see you." My grandmother opened her eyes long enough to see Chelsea. She tried to mumble something and she kind of gave a half a smile before she closed her eyes again. We were able to take some pictures and I was able to sit and hold my grandma's hand for awhile before we had to leave. I'm so grateful for the hour that I was able to sit with her and tell her I loved her. It started getting really late and even though I really didn't want to leave my grandma's side I knew I needed to get Chelsea home and put her to bed. So reluctantly I said my goodbye to my grandma, knowing that I most likely wouldn't see her again. My mom and Aunt ended up staying the whole night with my grandma holding her and whispering words of comfort to her. All of this happened on my brother Jeff's birthday and the two thing that we wanted were for my grandma to see Chelsea before she died and for her to NOT die on my brother's birthday. So at midnight they whispered to my grandma that it was no longer Jeff's birthday and that she could go. At 5:30 the next morning my mom and Aunt decided that my grandma looked peaceful enough that they could come home and get some rest. So they came home and got a few hours of sleep. We were all just getting ready to head back over to the facility to be with my her again when the phone rang. My mom answered the phone and when she went silent I knew. My mom came out and said that my grandma had passed. I think the hardest part of this whole ordeal was seeing my mom grieve for her mother. I can't ever imagine losing my mom. Besides losing my husband or child I think that that would be the worst thing I could imagine, so watching her lose her mother was difficult. We headed back over to the facility so that my mom and aunt could say goodbye and they had to fill out all of the paperwork. For the few hours that they were taking care of the "business" end of things, I had the opportunity to sit with my grandma's body in a quiet room, while holding Chelsea. I just sat their holding her hand and stroking her hair. I have never been around or touched a dead body before and never thought I would have the stomach for it, but it was so peaceful just holding her. She looked liked she was asleep and like she would open her eyes up at any moment. All I could think about was how she was on the other side of the veil now and what it will be like to see her again someday. As difficult as this whole experience was there are so many blessings that i am grateful for: that she held on long enough that Chelsea and I could make it there to say goodbye, that she went so quickly and didn't have so suffer much pain or humiliation which often accompanies the process of dying, that her last weeks were spent surrounded by her family in a home filled with the spirit, that through the gospel of Jesus Christ we can be with her again, and that I was able to bring a little bit of happiness and joy during a very sad time through Chelsea. It's amazing how much healing a baby can bring. Even though my entire family was so sad to see my grandmother pass away, the second Chelsea entered the room the feeling of sadness and gloom immediately melted away and was replaced with happiness, excitement and love. Children are such a blessing!

I will miss my grandma and look forward to doing her temple work in a year so that I can be reunited with her again someday.