INSOMNIA

It's 4:30 in the morning and I have laid in bed listening to my husband snore for several hours now. I finally decided that I would be more productive getting out of bed and actually doing something rather than just laying there for yet another hour staring at the ceiling. Why can't I sleep? I'm just having one of those nights where your mind just won't shut off. It just keeps going and going. A lot of it has to do with my new calling. A few weeks ago I was called to be the first counselor in my ward's Relief Society. This calling definitely caught me off guard and I was feeling VERY inadequate for the call. But I've had many blessings and experiences that have let me know that this is the call that Heavenly Father wants me to have, that he is aware of my MANY faults and shortcomings, that He has been preparing me for this call long before it actually came, and with His help (and ONLY with His help) I can overcome my shortcomings and magnify my calling. As the first counselor I'm over education, which includes the RS teachers and making sure that Sundays are taken care of. It sounds easy enough, but I found out yesterday that one of our newly called teachers will not be there this Sunday and it is her turn to teach. So, it's now my responsibility to either find someone to teach the lesson OR I do it myself. I think this is the root of my little insomnia problem tonight. This really shouldn't be that big of an issue, but considering I've laid awake contemplating what I should do, it's apparently more of an issue than I thought. I've prayed about it, read the lesson through, and tried to decide if the Lord intends for me to do this lesson or if He has some else in mind for it. One name came across my mind but I know that the sister I'm thinking of has recently had some serious health concerns and to top it off, I really don't even know her. I've met her once. So I don't know if her health is up to teaching a lesson quite yet, and if not, I'm back to square one.
The other thing keeping me awake is visiting teaching. I've had the same VT route for a while now and it's been really nice because I don't have a companion (it's just easier to just go and do it rather than trying to coordinate with someone else's schedule). I have two active sisters on my list (whom I visit monthly with no problem) and two inactive sisters, whom I have never met, nor made an effort to meet (I'm confessing my sins via my blog). This really shouldn't be an issue for me. I would consider myself a pretty social person (not exactly shy) and I've served a mission where 90% of my day for 18 months was meeting with people I didn't know. Yet, the idea of making contact with sisters that I don't know, who haven't been to church in who knows how long, and who most likely don't want me to interrupt their lives, TERRIFIES me. I realize this is a very poor attitude to have, but it's a fact. When they asked me to do this calling, that was the very first thing that popped into my mind, the fact that I would be responsible to make visits to inactive sisters. It just plain scares the poop out of me! So I've been praying about it a lot. I can't say that any fear has been removed (darn it!) but I can say that I at least have a determination to get out there and do what I'm suppose to do...terrified or not. So I figure I should probably start with the 2 inactive sisters on my own visiting teaching route. So I've laid awake trying to think about how to contact/approach these two women. I figure food is always good right? A nice loaf of banana bread or plate of cookies always breaks the ice right? Fingers crossed.
Now that I've gotten out what's been on my brain I think I'm going to put some ear plugs in to shield myself from the hedgehog that sleeps next to me, and try and get some Zs.